A letter in my mailbox… living my dreams again!

I am not a fan of facebooking every single thing I do, eat or think, especially not when it comes to very private things. But there is something I want to say to all of you out there, to all my loved ones, family and friends, to people I may have met only once but also to people I don’t know:

Many of you know that my family and I have had a very hard time in the past one and a half years. The ninth day of September 2011…it changed our lives , ??.

Somebody took us our wonderful father, son, brother, husband, greatfather, friend, …

And if that wasn’t hard enough, my sister and I were in Canada these days, waking up the eights day in beautiful Vancouver and Kimberley, both of us still being happy and thinking we are living in a wonderful dream.

Canada was supposed to be the beginning of my living dream – my World Trip. But it should only last eight days – until we received this one phone call from Germany that should change our lives…and booked the next flight home.

Thank you Duncan, Daisy, Lilly, your parents and Fer for being there for me in the moment where I got this terrible message…

Coming home, the world seemed to stand still, everything changed all of the sudden. And I thought I will never be able to smile. Never. I didn’t know anything. Nothing. Only that I gotta function somehow.

Now, one and a half years later, I am looking back – and very very thankful. I got my smile back. I grew up even more and more than ever am I convinced that…

Life ist just beautiful! And that it’s all up to you what you make of it!!

I want to thank Sascha and Lars for giving me a home and family in Hamburg – with Friederike, Sophia, Micha and Werner. You guys have become a family for me and, without probably knowing, you gave me so much warmth and caring that helped me moving on in my life.

I want to thank Anke for letting me stay in her appartment for over a months when I came back to Hamburg.

I want to thank all my friends (don’t wanna name all of you as I am afraid to leave somebody spezial unmentioned) helping me coping with the things that happened. For being there for me – physically or not, that didn’t matter. But knowing that you guys are always there, gave me lots of security and comfortness.

And last but not least…of course… thank my family for everything – just can’t put it into words…

What I have never given up though, is my dream to travel around the world. I knew I couldn’t continue right away, but I never gave up on it. I knew, that one day, the time will come again to do what I have dreamed of the last years. No matter what would happen until then, no matter when, in one, two or ten years.

But never ever will there be anything or anybody that can keep me from realizing my dreams!!! N O B O D Y !! N O T H I N G !!

I have fought a lot , I have gone a long way round and other unexpected things happened. But you know what? That’s what life is all about! You cannot plan your life, but you can learn how to handle certain situations, you can learn being open to challenges, and you can learn to consider things not as mistakes but as experiences that will only make you stronger.

By the end of last year, it seemed like I will have to quit my job. So I thought, what am I gonna do now? I found out that there would be nothing like mjam that could make me happy, that could only replace just a clue of that feeling and comfortness I experienced there. Many of you might not understand why I feel like that towards mjam, pragmatically only a workplace. But it was way more than that.

???, I thought: ??, then this might be your personal destiny again. Maybe this is my time. Time to go back home – home to out there in the wonderful world!

Many many weeks have passed since this one thought. I didn’t care where my new round trip would begin – say Canada, Australia, Asia, or even Germany. Every country, every city, with all its people, cultures and landscapes is unique and special! Just like in 2011, I will book the first flight somewhere – with no return ticket. Nor with an idea when I will come back home to Germany.

However, I thought it would be just great to start over my globetrotter experiment where it all began. In beautiful Canada, in the beautiful Rocky Mountains, in Kimberley. As it’s not been that easy to get a visa this time, there was a big chance I will not be able again to return to Canada to work with the International Students, just like in 2011.

I just got a letter today:

„Dear Carmen Kossagk,

Your application to study or work in Canada has been approved.“

I just cannot put this into words… unbelievable… still flashed… happy… jumping araound…!!!!!

That way, I will be able to continue my dream where I had to cancel it. To return to the place where I received the message that should change my whole life. To be at the place exactly two years later on September 9, 2013.

Special thanks to Duncan and Tom for supporting me in getting this visa!!

And this is why I am publishing these very privat thoughts: I want to encourage all of you to believe in yourself, remain true to yourself and follow your own path. Be prepared to going long ways round but not straight to your goal. This will only make you stronger. Don’t be afraid of new things or situations – take them as a challenge. To grow and mature, becoming even more self-confident. And especially realizing:

It is up to you if dreams remain dreams or of they become a true story you will have lived and experienced!

Never give up! Fight and stay focussed! You can do it! LIVE your life!!

…and follow me on my globetrotter experiment! www.globetrotterexperiment.com

Can’t wait to finally blog again!!! Time to book my flight NOW !!!